Anxiety

Hi all this post is completely different to what I've done before I've only ever really posted about this once or twice but I've never gone into detail 

I feel I need to talk about this and I've been told several times talking about it makes it easier to let it go 

I suffer with Anxiety and Panic Attacks 

I've been suffering with this for years and I've never really told anyone other than my fiancé, my family and maybe a close friend! 

It comes and goes and thankfully I hadn't suffered from it in a while, it's recently come back for no Apparant reason and it's completely floored me! 

People think I am shy and quiet and I just don't like to go out at the weekends 

The truth is I love to go out and dance and be with my friends but I haven't been able to go anywhere with big crowds in the last few months I find it extremely hard to leave the house because I panic there are days when I feel like I can't be around anyone and all I want to do is cry!

Everything you could imagine is going on in my head at the same time and It is really hard! 

It's difficult for me to try and explain what it is and how it feels the only way I can describe it is it feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I can't breathe. 

I'm writing this today because I know there are other people like me with this and you wouldn't know! 

People tend to brush over it and say "think about something else" or "just ignore it and it will go away" I've tried all of tthis and it only makes it worse 

I am hoping this post will help at least one person with anxiety like mine to go and talk to someone, I understand that people who have never had it don't understand it and don't know what to say, you don't have to say anything you just have to be there! Trust me that helps so much 

I'm hoping mine will go soon and I'm still looking for ways to help me relax and stop my mind overthinking all the time! 

If you have ever had anxiety please don't suffer alone! 

Sorry for the long deep post but I feel like writing it down sometimes helps. 

Xox 

MAC Satin Lipstick

Hi ladies 

I've been a little out of sorts lately so I apologise and I will have a post up really soon about why 

I visited my gorgeous sister On Saturday and she gave me a little present :D 

My first mac lipstick

I've never been a huge fan of lipstick I was always a lipgloss girl, anything glittery, sticky and smelled like strawberries I had to buy it! My taste in lip products have changed completely this last year! 

I never thought lipsticks could change a look, how wrong was I?!

On to this gorgeous colour 

This is in the colour Captive it's a gorgeous dark red/purple colour 

I have been looking for one like this for ages and I don't remember telling my sister so she obviously knows me so well 

It glides on perfectly, and gives a really nice subtle shine! 

It has a really vanilla smell which I love and it's no over powering! 

I wore this for the first time this morning I absolutely love it

It's perfect if you want a slightly dramatic lip for the day but you don't want to wear full on red! 

As you can see it looks more puple in the light 

I am definitely gonna purchase some mac lipsticks for my collection this one has me completely sold 

Have you tried Captive? 

Xox

DIY Colour Lipstick

Hi all I was messing around this evening after my course today looking through all the gorgeous makeup from www.makeuprevolutionstore.com/ and they have some fierce lipsticks! I'm not very adventurous when it comes to lipstick my lips are slightly off so I was always kind of conscious but I am trying to not care what anyone else thinks of me and just do and wear what I want to do, life is too short to worry about everyone else! 

I've seen all these blue and green lipsticks on people before and they are always gorgeous soooooo I rooted around my makeup drawer and I found a green eyeliner from Miss Sporty 

It's one of the mini me ones so it's quite soft I decided to see what the green would be like before I went out and bought one 

What you will need to achieve this : 

Foundation or concealer 

Any colour eyeliner (preferably a soft one, if not, have a hair dryer handy and just blast your eyeliner for a couple of seconds to make it softer) 

A clear lipgloss (optional) 

1: start off by applying a concealer or foundation to your lips so you have a clean base 

2: start drawing (lining) your lips with your eyeliner if you have small lips you can go slightly over the actual lines like I did 

Don't worry too much about the line you can always fix it if you go over too much 

3: once you're finished drawing around your lips you can fill them in with the pencil depending on how soft it is you can colour your lips in with it or smudge it with your finger like you would a lip balm 

HINT : if you want to make smaller lips fuller always use a liner, and go slightly over your natural lip line but make sure the sides connect in a > shape so your mouth looks kind of pinched at the sides 

4: you can apply a clear lipgloss over your lips now or you can leave them matt it's up to you 

It's a great way to see if a darker coloured lipstick will suit you before you go and spend money on it 

Would love to see if you've tried this 

Xox 

Christmas Tag

I've not posted anything since August so when I woke up this morning I was determined to make up for it by writing at least one new post and this is my second one of the day so I'm doing well :D 

I've not done any of these tags before I don't think so I was looking for one I could do, this is something slightly different to what I normally post about but 'tis the season' and all that 

The Christmas Tag 

I got this off http://milkbubbletea.blogspot.com/do check out her blog it's amazing 

1.What is your favourite Christmas movie/movies? 

I love Christmas movies I have Christmas 24 on all the time, I could watch Christmas movies in March and I'm not ashamed to say that I do watch them all year long some of my favourites are: Christmas with the Kranks, home alone lost in New York, Elf, The Grinch, The Polar Express, Petes Christmas (recently seen it on sky movies premeire and I love it) The Santa Claus 1 (not gone on the other movies), the nightmare before Christmas 

2:Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning? 

Since I met my fiancé almost 4 years ago we open one of our presents together on Christmas Eve when it's just us and no one else 

3:Do you have a favourite Christmas memory? 

I have two Christmas memories that really stand out for me the first one when I was really little I don't know what age but I swore I heard jingle bells outside on Christmas Eve totally certain it was Santa (I found out years later that our local doctor actually used to go around houses on Christmas Eve shaking bells and bringing presents and hampers to some of the houses that couldn't afford much for Christmas) The second one was when I got tapes for my Walkman ( showing my age here) B*witched and The smurfs I played them so much that day I knew all the words to both albums by that evening, and I got Harry potter colouring books I was obsessed with Harry potter at that time! 

4:Favourite Feative Food?

I actually don't really have a favourite festive food I'm not a big fan of Christmas cake, or mince pies I do like turkey tho 

5:Favourite Christmas Gift?

It has to be either my Mixer or my Iphone My mum got the mixer for me two years ago and I use it all the time I love to bake and it just makes it so much easier!!my fiancé got me the iphone last year and I couldn't imagine going back to another phone after it! I do also love my Real Techniques brushes my sister got me last year for Christmas she's very good to me 

6:Favourite Christmas Scent?

This isn't specifically for Christmas but I love Cinnamon!!! Anything Cinnamon or All Spice I absolutely love!!! 

7:Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

Since I was little my mother has always bought me pajamas for Christmas! I genuinely don't know when it started but it's become our Christmas tradition to open them on Christmas Eve and wear them that night 

8:What Tops your tree? 

I have a fibre optic Christmas tree so there is already a star on top 

9:As a kid what was the one (crazy,wild or extravagant) gift you always asked for but never got?

I always wanted a rocking horse it's not really crazy or extravagant but that's what I wanted 

10: what's the best part about Christmas for you? 

Right now the best part about Christmas for me is being able to spend it with my fiancé! He works away all the time, nights weekends you name it all over the country and I don't get as much time with him as I would like! Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are the only two days of the year that I am guarenteed time with him and he's back out to work Stephens day (Boxing Day) 

That's my Christmas tag done I actually really enjoyed it! If you would like to do it let me know if love to read some others :) 

For some Christmas cuteness and because I love penguins :D 

Xox

Beauty on a budget

Hi I didn't realise how long it was since my last post I had completely lost inspiration so I do apologise and I hope to start blogging more 

On to today's post 

Beauty On A Budget 

If you have read my last posts or been on my previous blog itsonlymexox.wordpress.com you will know I love a good bargain! In the last year I've been doing a lot of shopping online, where I live I only have 1 chemist(pharmacy) and another half hour away there's a handful more.I would normally just get cheaper drug store makeup anyway, my nearest mac counter is a good 2 and a half hours away from me and as I don't have my own transport it's difficult to get there! 

Here are a few of my favourites over the last few weeks: 

Catrice Nude Sensation eyeshadow 

Trend collection c03 Soft Coral 

This is one of my all time favourite eyeshadows and I don't think you can but it anymore so when it runs out I will need to find something else :( it's so smooth and it blends really easily it's a gorgeous soft pink colour perfect for every day wear 

I bought this at the time for €1.99 

Urban Decay Naked Basics 

Top to bottom:

Crave, faint, naked 2, w.o.s, foxy, Venus 

Now I have to say this is a fake! I don't know why people get so annoyed over fakes, personally I think it's the exact same as buying the w7 versions of Naked2 or Naked3 or any chemist or pharmacy brand of eyeshadow! I use this a lot and I've never had any issues, I bought this on buyincoins.com for €2.45 

Note: I will only buy off websites that accept PayPal I would reccomend that you do the same 

W7 The Cheek of It! Blush

Baby Pink 

I love this blush it's a gorgeous pink that blends easy enough although I do have to say you can't go heavy handed with it or you will look daft 

I bought this in cara pharmacy for €3.50 

Natural Collection cover up cream 

This is one of my go to concealers, it's so handy because it has one of those lipgloss brushes so it's easy to get around your eyes and under your eyebrows! It's quite liquidy so you only need very little you can build up coverage though. I got this in Fair in Boots chemist for €2.49 

NYC All Day Long Smooth Skin 14 hr Foundation in 737 Classic Ivory

This foundation has had mixed reviews since it came out, some people hate it some love it! I am hit and miss with it but I've been using it lately because I ran out of my favourite Rimmel Lasting foundation and I had this in my makeup drawer 

It drys really quickly so you need to be quick when your applying it, I always apply moisturiser and primer before this foundation and it stays on, I'm very pale and I find it hard to get a foundation that matches my skin perfectly and this definitely matches it 

I don't remember how much this foundation is exactly but I know it was definitely under €5 

Fairy Girl Eyebrow pencil in dark brown 

I bought this on a whim from buyincoins.com for €0.70 I needed a new pencil and I liked the look of this one it's got a slant on the top so it makes it easier to fill in your brows 

Brush set in pink and white 

This is another purchase from buyincoins.com it's fine for back up brushes, you get two smaller eyeshadow brushes, one flat eyeshadow brush, a lip liner brush, a blush brush and an eye liner brush all in a little pink wrap case for €3 cheap as chips and they don't shed 

Fluffy Brush in 217 

This looks similar to the MAC fluffy brushes so I picked it up with the other brushes from 

Buyincoins.com for €1.20 

It's great for blending shadows and for contouring down the sides of your nose 

W7 Lip Lights in Pink Glitter 

I got this in a set for Christmas with a light up mascara, It has led lights in the lid and a little mirror in the side so great of you're out and it's dark and it's actually a gorgeous colour, really shimmery I think it's about 

€1.50 on it's own to buy 

Wet and Wild Candy Crayon 

I am very bad with throwing makeup away I've literally had this hilighter for years and it's almost gone, it's such a nice bright colour I use it under my brows, down my nose, the corners of my eyes and on too of my cheek bones I love it, I'm not sure if you can still buy it but I think it cost me about €2 at the time I bought it! 

You don't have to spend a fortune on makeup the cheaper makeup is sometimes better than the dearer stuff! 

All the makeup on this post is less than €5 

Xox

Schwarzkopf Blonde Ultime LXX Xtra Xtreme Lightener NEW hair colour

Hi ladies (and guys if there is any) I have been wanting to colour my hair back blonde for ages but I knew how long it was gonna take for me to go a nice natural looking blonde colour with no orange/ginger through it 

I used a colour striper before I put this colour I am reviewing into my hair 

My hair was this colour : 

And after I used the colour B4 colour remover it turned out like this : 

Now it did take the majority of the bright red from my hair but as you can see from the pic it looks so damaged on the ends especially, I need to get a hair cut anyway so I wasn't really worried about this I decided to procede with the Schwarzkopf lightener 

You will need to do a skin patch test before you use this dye, I am awful bad that I never do a patch test but if you have never used this brand or product before you should  .

(If your hair is longer than shoulder length or thick you will need two/ possibly three packs of this) 

In the pack: 

You get your developer in the bottle as normal, the tube of xtra xtreme lightening colour and then the pack on the left which is lightening powder, like a bleach! 

You also get your conditioner, instructions and gloves 

Now I have to say who's hands are they modelling their gloves on because they were huge on my hands, ( I do have the hands of an 8 year old child but still) 

What you will need before you start: 

A timer

A comb

A dark towel

Grips/ clips 

Step 1: cover your shoulders with the dark towel, or if you don't have a dark towel, cut the top of a black bin bag and wrap it around your shoulders securing it with clips or grips

Brush your hair through making sure you have no knots, section off your hair with the grips, normally I section it into 4, from behind your ears to your face is 2 ( one on each side) and then split the back into two sections 

Step 2: Mix your hair colour, open the top of the developer by twisting the nossel clockwise until you hear a pop, take off the nossel and squeeze in the tube of colour, starting at the bottom of the tube (never start in the middle because you will waste loads) when you have that done, cut open a small corner of the package and empty it into the developer bottle, screw on the nossel and roll the bottle between your hands for a few seconds then shake it for about 1 minute 

Step 3: start applying it to your hair I always start on the darker parts of my hair, which are my ends, so I started on my back sections ends and then worked my way up and forward, I will add there is definitely not enough dye in the bottle if your hair is below shoulder length, I just had enough in mine but my hair is very thin 

Step 4: Once you have it all applied whichever way you wanted to do it, you have to leave it to develop for 30 to 45 minutes depending on how bright you want it so set your timer, on your phone or an egg timer and wait for the correct amount of time 

Step 5: After the time has finished you can rinse out your hair, take the conditioner into the shower with you, rinse the dye from your hair as you normally would and apply the conditioner for 5 minutes, once the 5 minutes is up rinse out and leave to air dry before you style your hair 

Now I have to say I was quite disappointed with this hair dye I bought it specifically because it said 8 levels of lightening and it neutralises orange and yellow tones..........

As you can see......I am very orange!!!! What you can't see from this pic is my roots are bright yellow, I left this dye on for the 45 mins to let it work it's magic and it only made my hair so dry and orange! This is probably due to the fact that I was so red before, I am sure if you are brunette or light haired anyway it would come up a nice shade 

Has anyone used this product? 

Xox

Smoky eye/cut crease pictorial

This post is picture heavy 

Hi lovelies I haven't done a pictorial in absolute ages I used to do them on my other blog but it's been at least a year and a half since I did one! 

I decided to do one today as I've been looking at some other ones

I have recorded videos on how to contour and how to apply strip eyelashes I've never done a video before so if you would like to see them let me know 

On to the makeup 

Face

As my base I used Rimmel match perfect in True Ivory 

Blush is W7 in baby pink

And brows is my little brow palette from Tmart 

I used a matte lipstick from MUA called candy crush and a clear gloss from Essence over it 

Mascara I used No7 lash impact

Products for this look 

I love NYCs eye palettes they're so handy, I bought this one for brown eyes even though mine are blue/grey/green depending on my mood 

I just loved the colours 

I use the hi lighter and the concealer a lot as you can see 

You do not need to use these colours or this palette you can use whatever colours you like using the same guide 

Start by : 

Using concealer on your lids for a clean base 

Take a flat shadow brush and your darkest colour (whichever one you decide to use) and draw across your lid following your crease

You so not need to be careful or clean with this just yet, as you will be cleaning it up later! 

Extend your shadow out slightly and under your eye just to the middle, in a < shape 

Take a fluffy eyeshadow brush and blend that line on the top lid, I like to dip my brush in the same colour and blend it that way, you can go as high as you like with this depending on your own preference 

Taking your flat brush and the lighter colour pat that colour onto your eyelid under where you put your dark colour

You can put as much or as little on as you like, just don't go up further than the line you made with the dark 

On to liner, you can use gel, liquid, pen liner, etc, starting from your inner corner making a slightly thick line to the outer corner, I love the flick I wear it almost every day so you can extend as far as you want 

Taking a small angled brush and the darker colour you used for your crease line your under eye going as close to the lash line as possible 

Next step: 

Curling your own lashes

You can keep this look simple and just use mascara you can apply that now and your done 

Or you can use lashes and in that case apply one coat of mascara and let it dry, while your waiting for it to dry get your lashes ready 

I use long and full lashes from Tmart they are €1.40 for a pack of 10 there are so many different kinds on that site I love the thick ones for nighttime but I'm going more for the thinner ones lately 

I won't go into how to apply lashes I might do a post later about this 

Once that's done take your hi lighter (if you are using the same kind of palette) or a really light colour (white even) and apply it to your inner corners of your eye and just under your brows 

And that's the look done, as I have said you don't need to use these colours this look is gorgeous with black and silver or brown and gold, pink and purple etc 

I hope you have enjoyed this post, I would love to hear if you've tried this or you would like to? 

Hopefully it's helped you to create a cut crease :) 

Xox

Sunkissed Tan mousse

Hi lovelies 

Just a quick thanks to my new followers :) hope my posts don't disappoint :) 

I had to do a post about this tan, it seems not many people have heard of it and to be honest I hadn't heard of it myself until my beautiful friend Brianna was applying it to herself one night we went out (hi Brianna :) ) the colour was absolutely gorgeous, I thought she had used something previously but she hadn't! 

It is a coloured mousse so you can see where you are applying it, very like cocoa brown which I love but it has a really nice dark colour! 

My friend bought this for me in dark and normally I wouldn't go for a dark in tan as I am quite pale but it's lovely 

I have no before picture so I do apologise 

After 

Its a nice deep tan, I hate applying tan, waiting for hours for it to develop and only having a subtle tint of colour for me if I apply tan I want to look tanned! 

This tan does need to be washed off so I would apply it at night and wash it off the next morning 

It last for up to 5 days and if you apply it every second night it is absolutely gorgeous, I would reccommend the darker shade because as you can probably tell from the picture it doesn't come out too dark 

Here's the best part 

It smells like coconut!!!!!!

If you know me you know I am obsessed with coconut, I've recently bought the Black Coconut Yankee candle and I have it lit every day I just love the smell of coconut 

This is what completely won me over, the smell lasts for ages too which if you're like me you will love 

This tan costs around €3.50 in any Penneys/primark shop and it's worth purchasing 

I don't know if it replaces my cocoa brown as I really love that tan the colour is just gorgeous but it's a close second, 

It's very like the St Moriz mousse tan only the mouse isn't green in colour and doesn't come out looking dirty like that one does a lot of the time if you don't exfoliate! 

I have to add as well, I am very bad with tan I never exfoliate or moisturise before applying it and with this one it didn't seem to make a difference so another bonus for me :) 

Have you tried this tan? What did you think? Or are you a one tan girl? 

Xox

My Makeup today (MOTD)

Hi lovelies I've decided to start doing makeup looks of the day I will try to post every day if not at least twice a week 

I absolutely love makeup if I am not applying it on myself I am doing it for everyone else, nights out with the girls always end up me doing everyone's makeup and lashes before we head out it's just become a habit 

I never know what expression to make in "selfie" pictures so I always either look pissed off or sad 

I kept my makeup quite "calm" today normally I would go for full on lashes and darker eyes but as I'm not actually leaving the house there was no need (haha!) I know some people might not call this "calm" for just staying around the house but as I said I have a serious obsession with makeup it just makes me feel good 

The products I used today : 

Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation

I have a love hate relationship with this foundation sometimes it works great it goes on really well and other times it goes patchy and orangey, today it went on well 

Urban Decay Naked 3 palette and Urban Decay Naked Flushed

If you have read my previous posts on both of these products you will know they are actually fakes, I've been using them every day since I got them and I love them 

Soap & Glory Sexy Mother Pucker Lipgloss

The only other Soap & Glory product I have ever used was the body butter I loved it but I hated the smell, my sister loves their products and she gave me this and the butter, it isn't normally a colour I would go for but since I got my teeth whitened I have been experimenting with brighter lip colours for day time this is great for plumping up your lips but wow does it sting for the first 15 minutes however  it does make a difference 

Eyelash curler & Waterproof Eyeliner pen 

Both of these products I bought on eBay I have a slight addiction to eBay and anything Chinese lately these were less than €1 each and are actually really good 

W7 Loads of Lashes fibres 

This is another product that's hit and miss with me, I don't use it all the time as I find the fibres tend to fall a bit during the day and go in your eyes, I have quite sensitive eyes so I don't use a lot of this on my lashes 

No7 Lash Impact Intense Volume Control Mascara

I bought this purely for the glittery packaging and i was quite surprised with it, it does make your lashes voluminous and lengthens them without fall out during the day 

Concealer/contour Palette 

I forgot to add this to the original photo this is my fantastic concealer palette I bought online again another Tmart purchase I use this all the time as you can see which ones are my favourite I use this on clients, friends & myself I love it it cost €4 on tmart and I'll definitely repurchase 

It's the best concealer and contour palette I've used 

Eyebrow powder/eyebrow cake

Another purchase from tmart can you guess what my favourite website is?:) I like this wee eyebrow palette a lot I got this in the No.2 I find I use the darker colour a lot more than the lighter

I have naturally fair blonde eyebrows but while I have my hair dyed darker I like the dark brows 

That's my makeup look today :D 

Have you used any of the products??

Xox